Terrance Howard told us It’s hard out here for a pimp. But I’d argue that it’s even harder for for two people trying to have a healthy stable relationship. To find a mate with just the basics – educated, employed, good hygiene, common sense – can be hard enough, let alone bonuses like ambition, goals, and a sense of humor. But it seems in 2016 folks are pickier than ever. Why, you ask? Because there’s a new qualifier that’s secretly impacting not only how we select our potential mates, but the validity of our current relationships as well . Still stumped? Well, allow me to introduce you to social media (dun dun DUUUNNN!)
Don’t be acting like you don’t know social media! It surely knows you. Not only that, did you know social media is sabotaging your relationship before it even begins? We’ve become a generation of sliding in the DMs and vetting relationship compatibility based on formula that I like to call your SMCI – your Social Media Crackingness Index. It a simple formula that takes the total number of your posts, divides it by your number of OOTDs, raises it to to the power of the number of countries you took a picture in that year, and multiplies it by your average number of likes per post.
I know right now you’re thinking “I’m not that that person, not even close!” *emoji eyes* Okay. But before you skip off with your clear conscious in tow, let’s look again to make sure you or your loved one is not is not participating in the the following social media relationship pitfalls.
1. Whenever you see someone post #WCW or #MCM, you immediately think “when was the last time I was someone’s #WCW or #MCM”
2. Whenever you post a picture of you and bae, you’re hash-tagging your favorite “It couples” IG page. Gotta get that feature!
3. You ever checked to see who liked your significant other’s photo.
4. After seeing your BFF and her beau on a couples trip to Abu Dabi, you immediately began pricing couples suites in Bali.
5. You’ve “noticed” your girl’s selfie posts get way more likes than pictures of the two of you. You’re not mad, you just noticed.
None of these things aren’t that bad, in fact, you’re probably doing them subconsciously. But without the insane popularity and obsession over social media, none of these would even exist. Although highly superficial, these thoughts and behaviors can impact your relationship if you let them. Sites like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter create a world of comparisons that will fool you into believing the next man is a better boyfriend or husband to his woman, or that you’re relationship is not reaching it’s full potential. The saying used to go “believe half of what you see and none of what you hear”, but the internet is the new grapevine and folks are only portraying what they want you to think. Our eyes can no longer be trusted.
I love black love, and I want it to flourish for each and every one of us. So I beg you, please don’t social media sabotage yourself, your relationship, and your potential forever by placing too much weight on what you see out here in these skreets (for my non-black readers, that is streets). Have fun, share your moments, and keep up with the latest – but understand it’s only entertainment (Like Donald Trump running for president). Love is not measured in likes, photos, and features. Love is measured in bags and shoes 😉
JUST KDDING YA’LL! Stay woke! #Blacklove